Photography

The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family. While Mr. Smith could accept the fact that another man would make love to his wife to impregnate her, he didn’t want to be around during ‘the deed’.
On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I’m off. The man should be here soon."
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning madam. You don’t know me but I’ve come to. . . .
"Oh, no need to explain, I’ve been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in.
"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I’ve made a specialty of babies."
"That’s what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat. Just where do we start?" asked Mrs. Smith, blushing.
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can really spread out."
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn’t work for Harry and me."
"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I’m sure you’ll be pleased with the results."
"I hope we can get this over with quickly," gasped Mrs. Smith.
"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I’d love to be in and out in five minutes, but you’d be disappointed with that, I’m sure."
"Don’t I know!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London."
"Oh my god!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with." The photographer handed Mrs. Smith the picture.
"She was difficult ?" asked Mrs. Smith.
"Yes, I’m afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look."
"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.
"Yes", the photographer said. "And for more than three hours too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed on your, eh . . . equipment?"
"That’s right. Well madam, if you’re ready, I’ll set up my tripod so that we can get to work."
"Tripod??", Mrs. Smith looked extremely worried now.
"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It’s much too big for me to hold while I’m getting ready for action.
Madam? Madam? . . . Good Lord, she’s fainted!!"

good 1 pmsl 10/10 x

We’re having a family portrait today and our confirmation slip says that we should wear bright colors. I’m wondering what tips there are to get a great looking photo, and whether any one has any advice from personal experience?

Look natural. Try not to smile in a "fake" way…if you have to, think of something funny to give yourself a reason to grin.

Since it’s a group photo, make sure your colours coordinate alright.

how many years of study are involved? At what cost?

It depends upon what level you wish to work … You can usually work for minimum wage for a while assisting kiosk portrait studios in malls and learn on the job. If you wish to join the ranks of the famous, attending a school like Brooks Institute of Photography for a couple of years and then get a job working for a successful portrait photographer as an assistant and learn both the business and hone the techniques you learned while in school … Time? five to seven years. Cost? … you will have to include the tuition for school, your basic camera system (a couple of bodies and three or four lenses). The cost can be from over $50,000 for school and another $20,000 for camera and lighting equipment.

So I guess you need to decide what your goal is first in order to budget for your education and equipment

Any famous photographer/ or even your family remember who has autism but also like to photograph? Im interested in what they see/ capture through the camera.

Please reccomend one, its for my thesis.

Many thanks in advance.

see phtography/pher at STUMBLEUPON.

What I mean is:
We met alot of friends on the net and they may be helped us and sometimes support us, for example: I’m a Photographer and i have an account on deviantart , i registered when i was a begginner and i still didn’t even know how to use my SLR, they gave me some tutorials and they supported me as well. Ok, now lets talk about my friends in real-life, when i bought my SLR they started asking me what i’m gonna do with it and i told just for fun. no one knew that i have a deviantart account until i gave them the address and until they saw me post a picture of them there. They didn’t even know i have the talent of photography. And without my DA friends i wouldn’t be a photographer.

Whats your opinion on net friends and your real-life friends?
If you please, answer this question & dont comment on the example, i need opinions.

I prefer my real life friend because i know who they really are and can connect with them on more levels than just typing. the people on the website are meant to tutorial you. your friend knew probably as much about photography as you. Your real friend are going to be their for more than photography

Hi! I’ve been asked to play violin for a wedding ceremony (I live in Pa) though I play very well I have never done a wedding. I’m wondering how much I should charge? Also how do I know how to get the timing of the music down so it ends at the right moment after they come down the isle when there’s no way to know until the rehearsal itself. I’d appreciate any advice from someone who’s performed for wedding on how to go about things. Thanks so much!

I have played with 3 other people for 2 weddings. (It was a quartet they wanted.)

Since the parents of the bride were teachers at the school, we agreed that each of us get $50 ($200 total) for just playing the wedding song and extra (depending on how long they wanted us to play at the reception).

My appointment is a week from tomorrow and I don’t know what to do. How many outfits should I bring? Do I have to order ALL of the pics I get? And can I wear a hat for pics that aren’t for the yearbook?

I would stick with neutral colors with little or no pattern. Remember you want the focus to be on you not what your wearing. Also if you can ask what color the backgrounds will be. Pick something that will compliment the background and not clash. If you want to wear a hat wear a hat. Do all the other pictures first. You don’t want hat head.

You don’t have to order all the prints. The photographer will give you some proofs (low res on disk or prints) for you to choose from. You pick the shots you like best and order whatever prints you want. They will probably have packages with a certain number of prints for a price but they will be happy to sell you any prints you want.

My husband is a photographer, but he has never entered an Art Show. He wants to enter an outdoor one in a small town close to where we live three weeks from now. What kind of photographs would sell? He has taken some of local landmarks, but what else could he try?

He should show a variety of things. Nature, landscape, local landmarks ect. Take some time to survey the local arts scene and see what other people do. If it is possible contact some people that have done this art show before and see what they do best with. From experience I can tell you that you sell different things at different venues. So it is a good idea to have as much material as possible.

He should have prints in a variety of sizes and prices. Some should be framed and others should just be matted.

Tell him not to be discouraged if he doesn’t sell to much. It took me a few years of trial and error to find which shows do well and which ones are not worth going to. I enjoy doing them and have made many contacts for more lucrative work. So enjoy the day and good luck.

I don’t live anywhere like LA or NY, I live in a bit of a hicktown. How can I find a good photographer?

Also, will a photographer take my pictures JUST to take pictures if I ask them, or do the photos have to be FOR something, like senior/wedding photos? Just wondering. Thanks!

Look in your local business pages or do a search on the www for your area.

Photographers are their to take photographs of anyone or anything.
If a customer just wants photos for their own purpose then the photographer will do them.

I mean good photographers and in a studio. About how much do most photographers pay PER PHOTO or for 4 photos?

Assuming you mean portrait photographers.

A sitting fee can be anything from a few pounds to a couple of hundred.
Prints again would range in price from around 20 to many hundreds for framed canvases.

Quality photographers will be at the high end as they will be dealing with quality clients who can afford the charges for a quality service and product.